I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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