He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
