dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
