Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
