it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
