before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
