my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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