This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
