so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
