looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
