ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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