I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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