U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
