That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I understand Curling. That high.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
