Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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