Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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