i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
