I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dear god my vagina.
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