I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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