Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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