i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
