Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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