I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I didn't notice because vodka
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize