He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
