it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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