we're blogging at a bar
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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