4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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