he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
