Your mouth is God's brothel.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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