jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
