my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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