Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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