Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
