Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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