I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
