The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
