i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
