BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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