I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
