Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
where are my eyebrows?
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