She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
