I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We left an ass print on the piano.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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