i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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