Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
MIDGETS
????
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
