just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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