Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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