My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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