Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
