he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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