Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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