he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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