if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
