if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize