I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
