She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
