He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
