I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
