it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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