xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize