New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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