So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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