is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
