I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You are a booty call, not a friend.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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