im six kinds of drunk right now
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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