May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
