Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
