smell my finger.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
These tits shall not be calmed
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
