my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
