That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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