Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
