No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
