they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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