I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
