No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
