I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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