craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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