Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
two words...techno handjob
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
