You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
